Sticks and Stones

Sorry I've been absent, life has been very hectic.

I've been up and down with my weight this last few months.

But I'm back, not 100% following the slimming world ways at the moment, mostly because of the lack of cash flow in my life, so I'm on a diet of "eating what's in the cupboards". Have a look at my Instagram (@KawaiiVeganNess) for the kind of things that I'm eating.

But back to the title in hand, we've all heard the phrase, "sticks and stones my break my bones but words will never hurt me!"

Well, and I've always known this, sometimes words cut like a knife.

Growing up I learnt that words were just that, words, and I could take them to heart or I could let them wash over me. I've always been pretty good and disregarding someone's negativity if I don't like the sounds of it. Or if that person has no positive impact on my life any other time, why should the words they speak now affect me.

Then sometimes someone close to you utters a few little words that absolutely crush your soul.

We're the worst at saying something in the wrong context or saying something that comes out way harsher than we actually mean.
We're also the worst at taking something someone says and over analysing it and blowing it way out of proportion.

Recently someone close to me said a phrase that was meant to sound like reassurance, meant in a way that should have come across as a comfort to how negative I way being about myself.

I tried to laugh it off, but that one small word grabbed my by the throat and threatened to take away every breath I was trying to breath.

"You're not that fat"

Emphasis the last 2 words individually every time you read that sentence; Either way, it stung.

It took me a few hours to stop running it round and round my head.

It took a few days for me to understand how it should have sounded.

It's still taking me some time to throw it away all together.

I am my BIGGEST critic (who isn't), and I am lucky enough to be surrounded by cheerleaders who constantly tell me to not be so hard on myself and tell me how amazing, beautiful, gorgeous I am.

It takes me a long time to believe people, and when you believe someone the rest of the time, that one misspoken word then means so much more.

I am shaking this off, I am trying to make myself love my outer shell, because I love who I am, just not always how I look.

I got this!

Thanks for reading

Keep it Positive

Nessa

Instagram: endless_night07
Twitter: Endless_Night07
Pinterest: endlessnight7
Snapchat: endless_night7