The years got easier, then harder again.
The more things that change in my life, the more I want to share them with you.
I want to introduce you to my best friends, I want you to laugh with them the way you laughed with me.
I want you to meet the guy who makes me smile like you did.
I want you to be mad at the choices I'm making, the tattoos I have, the fact I moved to London. And then I want you to forgive me like i know you would.
Mama tells me all the time "you wouldn't be doing that if you're dad was still here!" and I tell here, "well he's not is he!"
But I know you would still love me! We're very different people, but I don't think you would have ever fallen out with me for long over these silly things!
And I can tell myself this because you're not here, and maybe I don't 100% know how you would react, no one would. 12 years changes a person a lot!
What I do know is you would have gone MAD for Game of Thrones, You would have loved all the Marvel films! You'd still love Beyonce! You'd have worried about me going out to gigs, I doubt Mama could have kept my stage diving antics from you much longer. You would have complained about all the music I listen to! But I doubt the volume!
But I'd still have all that over not having you.
I'm so greatful that I got to know the love you had to give me. I'll always have that....
